Words and music by Tom Peterson


Life at the convent was kinda boring
So sister Mary Magdalene started whoring
Every night when the vespers was through
you could see her walkin down the avenue
Fifty bucks would get you more than you can handle
Wine and incense and novena candle
Sheets so nice and clean
Sister Mary Magdalene

Steady client sheriff Hawk, he's the best
He comes to see her in his bullet-proof vest
And when it's time for them to have some fun
He takes out his handcuffs and his badge and gun
And when they're done, they get down on their knees
Together they pray three rosaries
Weirdest shit I've ever seen
Sister Mary Magdalene

Mother Superior she'd be shocked
To know what she's been doin
But every night when the cloisters is locked
She leads a life of ruin

Blessed are the peacemakers
Tonight it's a convention of undertakers
Tomorrow night the boys from the air force base
Stop by to sample her amazing grace
Tear off the burlap, break out the satin
She'll talk real dirty to you,
But only in Latin
And she makes it sound so obscene
Sister Mary Magdalene

Vini, vidi, vici
Sister Mary Magdaline